SAMIt was a random Thursday in November, 2:47 a.m., and I’m sitting on my fire escape in Bushwick smoking the last Camel Crush I swore I quit. Phone in one hand, heart somewhere on the floor of my bedroom. Five months earlier my girl Jess walked out with no real explanation, and I’m still trying to piece together what the hell happened.
That’s when a group chat blows up: “Yo the Tea app just got hacked, everything is on 4chan right now.” I laughed at first. Then I’d heard about the app — that petty, women-only spot where exes drop anonymous star ratings on dudes like we’re Uber drivers. Figured it was just internet noise.
By sunrise the links were dead. 4chan mods wiped every thread, mega uploads gone, everything scrubbed. But the damage was already done. Once data hits the open web, it never really disappears — it just moves to the background-check sites.
The Paranoia Sets In
Every dude in New York was asking the same question: “Am I on there? Did she cook me?”
I tried everything.
- Made fake accounts (Tea only lets women join if you’re a girl, they manually check photos).
- Ran every old couple pic through reverse image search on Google, Yandex, PimEyes — nothing.
- Asked mutual friends from Williamsburg bars — nobody wanted to be the messenger.
I was losing it. Couldn’t swipe on Hinge without wondering if the new match had already seen some 1-star review calling me trash.
The $0.95 Discovery That Broke Me
One night I’m half-drunk on the couch, scrolling Reddit r/nyc, and some dude drops the cheat code: 🔎 Spokeo started pulling Tea ratings into their reports because the leaked data became “public record.”
I sign up for the 95-cent trial at 3 a.m. (you know the one, cancel-anytime, no commitment). Type in my own cell number — the same Verizon joint I’ve had since high school.
Two clicks later my stomach drops.
There I am. Full name, current Bushwick address, even my job title.
Under “Social & Dating Profiles” there’s a new entry:
Tea App Review
★☆☆☆☆ (1 star)
Posted 4 months ago
“Serial cheater. Lies about everything. Stay far away.”
Seen by 54 women.
Fifty-four.
She posted it two weeks after she left me. While I was still sending paragraphs like a simp, she was in an app telling half of Manhattan I’m garbage.
I never cheated. Not once. But on Tea, truth don’t matter — only the story.
What I Did Next (And What You Should Do)
I emailed Tea support with the Spokeo screenshot and basically begged. Took 17 days and three follow-ups, but they finally removed it. Too late — the screenshot already lived in data-aggregator hell.
Here’s the move in December 2025:
- Go to Spokeo.com (or TruthFinder/BeenVerified — Spokeo worked best for me)
- Start the $0.95 7-day trial
- Search YOUR OWN PHONE NUMBER (Tea data is linked to cells, not names)
- Scroll to the social/dating section
- If you’re there, it’ll show the exact rating and comment.
Cancel the trial right after if you want — takes ten seconds.
Final Word from a Bushwick Fire Escape
I’m not telling you this to scare you. I’m telling you because I wish somebody had told me. That leak might be gone from 4chan, but it’s still floating around in the background-check sites, and girls in this city actually check them.
If you just got dumped, especially if it ended messy, spend the buck and find out. Five minutes of pain now beats six months of wondering later.
And Jess, if this ain’t even about revenge. I’m good now — new girl, new apartment plants, actually sleeping again. But real talk: I hope carrying that lie eats at you the way your lie ate at me.
Stay safe out there, kings. Check your name before someone else does.
— Sam Bushwick, Brooklyn December 2025
